It's My Fault
by Babbles B
Summary: When I'm sorry isn't good enough anymore and no matter what you do you can never forgive yourself. Elizabeth wrestles with herself after causing Leonardo's death and blames herself. What will she do?


** Ok so this is just a short little thing that I had in my head that I decided to write. So yeah, please enjoy and review. :)**

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** It's My Fault…**

Icy rain fell all around me and soaked through my clothing as I sat next to his grave. I was freezing cold but hardly noticed for I had become numb and the pain in my heart was worse than the cold. It was my fault he was dead anyway and I deserved to freeze to death.

"I'm sorry…" I choked. But he couldn't hear me and he would never hear me again. I didn't ask for forgiveness, I didn't want it and I could never accept his forgiveness. If I had just listened to him he would still be alive, but I didn't and he was never coming back. Regret and guilt smacked me in the face again and I began to cry. "I'm so sorry…" I took the picture from my pocket and studied it. I traced his face outline with my small, thin finger and more sobs escaped my lips. He had taken the picture with me a week ago before he died.

"_Come on Elizabeth!" Leo had urged me on and I followed him up the hill to our favorite spot. It had been two years months since I had met him and despite him being a turtle I had quickly fallen in love with him. Those two years where the happiest time of my life. But then Karai had shown up and ruined everything! _

"I'm sorry." I cried again.

"_Elizabeth you have to run!" He said urgently. We were surrounded by Karai and the foot. _

"_But Leo she'll kill you!" I clung to him fearfully. _

"_Maybe, but if you stay she will kill you and I have sworn to protect you from harm. Now go and don't look back!" Leo said firmly. I nodded and started running. Leo took on all of the ninjas and Karai. I knew he was good at Ninjutsu but I couldn't help but look back. I hid behind a tree to watch, I had to see what would happen. Leo's brow was starting to sweat and his blades were covered in crimson but he kept fighting. A ninja was sneaking up behind him and I wanted to shout out but I didn't. _

"_AHH!" he cried and held his side in pain. Blood began to trickle down his side but he continued to fight off thee foot. Soon he was left alone with Karai. He was bruised and bloody but it didn't look like anything to serious. _

"_This is just like you Karai! I should've known you wouldn't fight honorably." He said and pressed his hand to his side where his deepest wound was still bleeding. _

"_You speak of honour but you have none yourself!" she spat. Anger and hatred laced in her words. "After you killed my father you deserved to die. I had let you live for now so that you would begin to have a sense of security. Now when I kill you my revenge will be ever so sweet and just." Karai spoke and admired the end of her sword as she paced in front of Leonardo. _

_He drew his weapons. "Well here I am." Leo smirked and said this almost as a challenge._

_Karai only laughed. "But to kill you would not be enough. No, you must suffer for what you've done!" _

"_And just how do you plan on making me suffer Karai?" he demanded._

"_Well that would be telling but I hear you've met someone Leo…" she smirked. "Elizabeth was her name I think, I heard she has taken quite a liking to you." _

"_She's not here and you will never find her!" he yelled defensively. _

_Karai only smiled. "Don't be so sure Leonardo." She snapped her fingers. Suddenly I was grabbed from behind and my mouth covered. Her invisible ninjas jumped over to her and dropped me at her feet._

"_Elizabeth!" Leo cried. _

"_One move and she dies." Karai picked me up and pressed the blade against me throat. Blood began to trickle down my neck and I screamed in pain and fear. _

"_Leo! Help me!" I wrestled within Karai's grasp but she was strong. Leo's blue eyes filled with fear and anguish. _

"_Let her go Karai! I'm the one you want!" Leo yelled. _

"_That's true. I will let her go, but only after you do as I say." She flashed a wicked smile. _

"_What do you want from me?" he asked._

"_You were not the only one whose hands are responsible for my father's death. Call your brothers and tell them to meet you at the docks. And if you dare try to warn them she will die." Karai threatened. _

"_What will happen to my Brothers!?" he demanded._

"_I merely wish for them to watch as you die, I only desire your blood Leonardo. I promise no harm shall befall your brothers as long as they don't do anything stupid" _

_Leo looked hesitant but to aid his thinking she pressed the blade tighter against my neck and I screamed in pain again. "Leo don't do it! I'm not worth it!" I cried and tears began to fall as I realized this was my fault._

"_I'll call them right now…" he looked crestfallen but called Donnie. _

"_Hey Don, yeah I'm fine. Look I'm going to need you guys to come to the docks." He said and there was a pause as Donnie replied. _

"_There is just something I want to show you guys." He said, he listened for a minute and hung up. "Now what?" Leo growled. _

"_Follow me." Karai said deviously. She turned in the direction of the docks, the blade still against my throat. _

_When we got there she had her invisible ninjas move some crates to create a platform for her to stand on. She tied Leo up in chains by her feet and dragged me to the top of the platform where she stood menacingly. _

_It wasn't long before Raphael, Michelangelo, and Donatello arrived. They gasped when they saw Leo in chains and Karai standing above with a blade at my throat. _

"_Let them go Karai!" Raphael demanded fiercely. His Sai's out and ready to attack._

"_Don't Raph, just do whatever she says and don't try to save me." Leo warned. The others looked defeated but obeyed his orders. "They're here Karai, now let her go! You promised you would let her go!" Leo ordered._

"_As you wish." Karai said smugly and dropped me off the boxes. "Ahh!" I cried as I fell, I landed on the ground with a thump and was knocked unconscious. _

"_Elizabeth!" Leo cried and crawled as close to me as the chains allowed. "Karai I swear if you've hurt her-"_

"_You'll what Leo? Your chained up remember and unless you want more blood on your hands you will do nothing!" she gave a wicked smile and began to pace again. "Now you other three Turtles will drop your weapons and watch as I kill Leonardo, if you dare move I will kill her also!" she pointed her sword at me. I awoke at this point and sat up rubbing my head._

"_Leo!" I cried and crawled towards him. I wrapped my arms around him and began to sob. "I'm sorry, this is all my fault." But before he could say anything else Karai flipped down to the ground and picked me up again. _

"_Thank you girl. You've been so helpful to me." She then tossed me over to Mikey, Raph, and Don who were still standing in the doorway, unsure what to do. I tried to get back to Leo but Raphael held onto me tightly. I fought but couldn't break free. _

"_Noo!" I cried; despair thick in my voice as more tears fell. Karai ignored all of this and held her sword at Leo's neck. _

"_Goodbye Leonardo!" she cried and slayed him. His blood stained her blade and she let out a victorious laugh. _

"_LEO!" We all cried. _

"_Karai you will pay for this!" Raphael yelled and charged at her. She merely laughed and took off. _

"_Another time perhaps." She called and vanished. _

"_Noo!" He yelled and fell in defeat at his brother's feet. _

_Mikey and Donnie where hugging each other and crying and I sat there, all of this pain was my fault and Leo would still be alive if it wasn't for me. But I had failed him and he was dead. _

"_I'm sorry." I blurted out again. And never before had the words I'm sorry never been enough. And I realized that it would never be enough, nothing would. I couldn't stand to stay there any longer so I turned and ran, rain had begun to fall and it beat against my face and blended with the tears. I didn't stop running until I reached the hill where we first met. I fell to the ground and crawled through the mud to the tree we always sat under. I pulled myself up against it and sat there as memories flooded back. All the times he had made me laugh, all the fun we had, his smile and laugh burned through me. I could almost see him teasing me and his face lighting up as I laughed. I longed now to run up and hug him but he wasn't there and never again would I be able to smile. I felt weak and as if I had died with Leo and I knew I would never heal, my heart and soul had been ripped out and this wasn't fixable. I leaned my head back on the tree and began to cry again._

_I managed to make my way back to the lair where I found the three of them sitting solemnly in the dark. I walked quietly in and sat beside Michelangelo, he turned to face me and we both gave looks of understanding. We both broke into tears again and hugged each other tightly. Donnie joined the hug and the crying and we sat there for what felt like hours. Raphael looked like he wanted to cry too but he just walked in to the Dojo and we could hear him grunting and beating the life out of the punching bag._

_The next day we all went out and buried him under the tree on the hill._

"_Goodbye Leo, I'm sorry I goofed off so much and I'm sorry I borrowed your comics without asking. You were the best big brother a guy could want and life won't be the same without you." Michelangelo said and placed a picture of Leo on the dirt._

"_Hey Leo, it's me Don. Thank you for being the best leader and older brother I could've asked for. You were always there to help me clear my head and remind me to eat and sleep when I got worked up in an invention. You've always been there for me, for all of us and were going to miss you." He said and sniffled as he placed Leo's mask on the grave. _

"_Hey bro, it's my turn now. Look I'm sorry for always bein' such a hot head and always fighting with you. I never meant anything I said and I wish I could go back and fix things. But don't worry, I will take care of the others and Elizabeth. Don't you worry and we will see you at the end of the road. Tell Master Splinter hello for us" He paused and wiped away the tears. "Goodbye Fearless…" he said and placed Leo's beloved swords by his grave._

"_I stepped forwards now. "Thank you Leo for being the best guy a girl could ever ask for, thank you for all the memories we shared and I'm really going to miss you. I'm sorry for everything." I whispered and started to cry again. I placed the locket he had given me on our anniversary beside the other things along with a bouquet of red roses with one black one in the middle. We stood there for a while, each thinking are own thoughts and remembering different things about Leo. We all went home and I crawled in bed and stayed there for days, my tears never stopped falling. Every night I had the same nightmare. _

"_Elizabeth this is all your fault! You murdered Leonardo!" Michelangelo yelled accusingly._

"_No I didn't! It was a mistake. I'm sorry!" I pleaded._

"_Sorry isn't good enough!" Donnie's voice was filled with hatred as he said this._

"_I know! But what do you want from me?" I asked and fell to my knees. _

"_Get lost before you kill someone else! We can never forgive you so just leave!" Raphael growled and shoved me. _

"_Leo forgives me! He knows it was an accident!" I cried defensively. At this point I would see Leo standing with his back turned to me. I ran up to him and grabbed his shoulder. He turned around quickly but jumped back when he saw it was me. _

"_Ahh! Stay back murderer!" he spat._

"_What? Leo it was a mistake, I'm sorry." My heart was breaking all over again as he blamed me._

"_Sorry isn't good enough and I can never forgive you!" he would scream and then everything around me would go dark but echoed by his last words. "I can never forgive you, forgive you, forgive you…" _

_I would awaken and belief every word of the dream. No matter how much they tried to tell me it wasn't my fault and I should come out I couldn't believe them._

Which is why I'm sitting here in the rain beside Leo's grave and holding a piece of rope tightly in one hand. I could no longer bear to live with my guilt and I said one last goodbye to him before I tied the rope around my neck. "Goodbye Leonardo, I know it's all my fault and I'm sorry and I know you can never forgive me." I single tear fell down my cheek and just as I was about to end it all I saw Leo standing in front of me. He was smiling at me and Master Splinter was beside him, they waved at me and the voice I never dreamed to hear again spoke.

"Elizabeth don't ever blame yourself again! If anything I'm the one who should be sorry, and I forgive you and I love you. Please forgive yourself." He looked intently at me.

"Leo I-" I was unsure what to say.

"Elizabeth you couldn't have done anything differently. If you had run away Karai still would have killed me, I'm just sorry I made you suffer. Please tell my brothers I'm sorry too."

"I, I will." I gulped back the tears and took the rope off my neck and ran to give him a hug. His arms had never felt so strong and safe, we clung to each other tightly and I felt all the pain of this week wash away. I felt my heart healing with every second we held each other. I finally let go and my eyes filled with tears of happiness. "I love you Leonardo." I said and my eyes lit up again.

"I love you too Elizabeth. Now go and live your life to the fullest and never look back again. I will be waiting for you and watching from up here." he smiled.

"But I'll never see you again; I don't want you to go."

"I will always be with you Elizabeth, in here." he pointed to my heart. "And heavens just a prayer away. I love you." He said and then he was gone. My heart felt strangely comforted and I could still feel his presence around me.

"I love you too Leonardo…" I whispered and walked off for the lair. I knew things would be alright now and I knew I would see him again…


End file.
